


Farewell

by sebstanromanianangel



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Falling In Love, Goodbyes, I Love You, M/M, Pining, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4735745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebstanromanianangel/pseuds/sebstanromanianangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Steve realized...for the first time, Bucky wouldn't be behind him. He wouldn't catch him when he fell, he wouldn't step in the middle of a fight. Steve wouldn't see the smirk, or hear the lectures, or be praised despite the trouble he'd caused. That body, the man that did all that was at the train station, about to leave him...He was going to leave and possibly never return.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farewell

He already said his farewell.

The night before,the night where Steve Rogers had gotten his second chance, he said his goodbye.

He knew that maybe soon, he would be fighting next to him.

Steve stared up at the ceiling of the recently empty apartment. He'd woken up that morning to his roommate leaving, an eerie finality about the door slamming behind him.

They already said goodbye, yet anger swirled in Steve's belly that Bucky didn't wake him for one last farewell? Steve pondered on this for a long time, the needy feeling gnawing at his insides.

The man was an idiot, but he was tough as hell. Why was Steve so worried? He would return...wouldn't he?

Steve hadn't thought about it until that moment, as he stared at the dank ceiling. This was war, it was hell. That's what everyone said. But Bucky seemed resilient to everything. He was always there, right beside Steve. He was always ready to catch him when he fell, or step in to stop a fight that Steve surely had no chance of winning. He always had that stupidly assured smirk on his face as he picked Steve up off the dirt and gently teased him about being a spitfire. He'd never cease to lecture, yet encourage Steve as he cleaned up his friend's bloody nose and scraped palms with a warm washcloth. He was always there, brushing Steve's dirty hair off his forehead, telling him that he was brave…

Steve realized...for the first time, Bucky wouldn't be behind him. He wouldn't catch him when he fell, he wouldn't step in the middle of a fight. Steve wouldn't see the smirk, or hear the lectures, or be praised despite the trouble he'd caused. That body, the man that did all that was at the train station, about to leave him...He was going to leave and possibly never return.

Steve sat up with a ragged gasp as that thought dawned on him. Bucky Barnes, his best friend...there was a huge chance he'd never come back. Steve could possibly never see that smile again.

Quicker than Steve had ever moved, he scrambled out of the bed and got dressed. He slipped on his shoes and ran out the door, barely remembering to lock it behind him as he raced down the stairs as quickly as his thin legs and weak lungs could manage.

The station was in running distance, but having to stop every few moments to catch his breath made it take a lot longer to reach his destination. Steve bolted upright when he heard the train whistle. It was the 'all aboard' whistle, which meant Steve was running out of time.

Steve gathered himself and pushed forward with his remaining strength to finally settle his feet on the train platform. He looked down the long line of cars and struggled to see over the heads of bustling people.

He took a ragged breath and shouted, "Bucky! Bucky!"

He coughed at the effort and started to push his way next to the train cars that were surrounded with sobbing, worried relatives.

Steve started to make his way down the edge of the train, banging underneath each window, continuing to call, "Bucky! Bucky Barnes!"

Steve started to panic when no one answered...what if he were sitting on the opposite side inside the train and couldn't hear him?!

All the feelings for Bucky started to bubble to the surface. Every heartbeat that skipped when Bucky would grin down at Steve proudly, every time his big hand ruffled Steve's hair…

"Bucky…" Steve called again, stopping as he came to the end of the line at the rear of the train.

He wouldn't get to see him again, this was the end. Steve stared at the ground as hurried bodies bumped into barely noticed them as he reached up and swiped at the tears that had formed in his eyes.

"...Where are you, stupid jerk?" Steve murmured to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing here, Steve?" a deep voice came from above him and Steve spun around, seeing Bucky leaning out of the last window.

Steve blinked away the tears, staring at Bucky.

Bucky's grey-blue eyes were widened a fraction, obviously not expecting to see his roommate. His uniform cap was off, his dark hair neatly combed back, his lips agape as he returned Steve's gawking.

Steve's words caught in his throat, forgetting what he wanted to say to Bucky now that he was looking in his handsome face.

Without thinking, Steve moved forward, reached up to pull Bucky's tie and forced him to look into his eyes.

"Stevie?" Bucky asked, his voice breathless, not indignant as he gazed down at his friend.

"You better come back to me, James Barnes," was all Steve could manage, his lower lip starting to tremble as he looked daringly up at Bucky.

Bucky's surprised face eased until that smirk curled his lips and his eyes sparkled. He reached up and settled his hand over Steve's hand that was gripping his tie. He brushed his thumb across the back of Steve's hand and said, "I'll always come back to you, Steve Rogers."

Steve licked his lips as time seemed to stand still until the train whistled again, sending a jolt of surprise through Steve's body. He let go of Bucky's tie, but the man held on to his hand as the train started to move forward.

Steve moved to follow the train, not wanting to let go of Bucky. He continued to walk until he had to break into a jog to keep up.

Bucky kept his fingers around Steve's until the train was moving too fast and their fingers slipped away from one another.

Steve stopped at the end of the platform and watched as Bucky waved to him, smirk still on his lips.

Steve lifted his own hand and waved in return before lowering it slowly. Steve's heart pounded in his chest, his mouth was dry. He had so many things that he wished he could have said before Bucky left. He wished he had a private moment with him to talk. He wanted to tell him things, important things. Especially one phrase in particular.

As the train whistled again as it chugged away, that particular phrase slipped past Steve's lips so quietly that not a soul could hear.

It didn't matter if Bucky could hear it or not. Steve knew that it was a phrase that was a confirmation to himself, even if no one was around to lend an ear.

It simply needed to be said.

"Farewell, Bucky…I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! It's my first time posting on here and I'm really excited about easing any readers in with one of my oneshots.
> 
> This ficlet was also inspired by Farewell by Alan Menken :)


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